Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Nov 4, OOPS

okay, I blew it today. But I actually feel positive about my future, because 1) I feel yucky right now and would like that to end, and 2) I've felt good the last few days and would like to return to that. Also after reading posts on the forums about sugar addictions, I'm realizing I don't handle sugar well, and I think I know why now: It's because I hardly ever eat it anymore and I'm really sensitive to it now. That's pretty obvious but it took me a while to realize it. I thought I had some weird psychological control problem. Well, maybe I do, but it doesn't help that I'm so much more sensitive to it than I used to be. That's why I quit alcohol too because I'm so much more sensitive to it now, and I react strongly to a small amount and feel crappy the next day after just 1 drink. I think I have to tell people I just can't handle refined sugar and grains anymore when faced with their thoughtful vegan concoctions. Okay, so here's how today went:

Late Brekky: smoothie, black bean soup and steamed veggies. This was a bit too much. Next time I can do with less of the veggies. They were good though.

Dinner: salad.

After dinner Oops: I was at a meeting, and the host said BYOC (bring your own cookies), and the host found out I was vegan and bought all these freshly made vegan cookies from the co-op. Then my friend Colleen brought these vegan cookies that were from a recipe I'd given her! And I thought, oh, those are okay because they have peanut butter instead of oil. Well, this is how your brain does not think rationally: I forgot it's loaded with maple syrup. Don't trust your brain when faced with cookies! The recipe is peanut butter, spelt flower, maple syrup and chocolate chips. It's really simple, and really tasty. So I ate one. and then another. At some point I remembered the maple syrup ingredient but it was too late. I think I ate about 8 of them. They were relatively small, but still. I'm buzzing and I have a stomach ache. I definitely prefer the calm, centered feeling I usually have.

Okay, tomorrow starts day 1. I actually feel more confident about this than I did a few days ago because I think I've undergone a mental shift. It's like when I decided I don't want the alcohol anymore. It's not denying myself something I want, but deciding I really don't want it anymore.


NancyO said...

I appreciate how honest you are with this blog ... I have to start over so many times after 'oops days'.

It's kinda scary to think that our bodies react badly when we 'indulge' on occasion. You'd think that since ETL-ers are so good to their digestive system the majority of the time that the occasional treat would be no problem. Why don't ETL-ers have iron stomachs? Why does your system get even more sensitive and fragile when it's so much healthier than SAD systems?

kneecap said...

Hi Nancy,

I think this is actually a hazard for ETL-ers. We have to be careful when we go off-plan because we get affected more than others. But the side effects do provide some useful negative feedback to make it less desirable to go offplan. I've been reading "The Pleasure Trap" and that is very illuminating. I highly recommend it if you haven't read it already. It's one of the books Fuhrman recommends on his website. I'll post about that soon but I have to go to exercise class now. I hope my tummy can handle it after last night's excess. :)


kneecap said...

oh, I didn't answer your question about why. I think we are just more sensitive since we're clean. it's like the first time you drank coffee if you can remember that. or if you ever smoked a cigarette. the nicotine is super strong and makes you feel sick. but once you get used to it, it is only a minor effect and you feel sick when you don't have it--that's when you are addicted. Well, sugar and alcohol have the same effect on me, I just never knew it until I got "clean". okay, gotta run!

NancyO said...

I remember reading John McDougall refer to "McDougall's Revenge" when people would experience side effects when going off diet.

Perhaps instead of whining about not having an 'iron stomach' I should be glad for the heightened awareness ETL-er's get from their detoxed systems. Being able to fine-tune one's diet based on such good feedback from the system should be a feeling of empowerment I'd say. Most SAD-ers don't have a clue why they feel so cruddy...don't ya think?

I have The Pleasure Trap...just haven't read it yet. I think it's neat that several years into this ETL lifeplan you're still motivated to work at getting it perfect (or close anyway ;)

Hope exercise class went well. I started mall walking today...good to get back to exercising again.

kneecap said...

Way to go on the exercise. I agree with you about being in tune with your body. I used to feel nauseous a lot when I was a SAD eater and I thought that was just normal! Now I just have to remember this next time I see a cookie! I sure don't want one now...

I definitely recommend the Pleasure Trap. When you read that, you'll be less inclined to blame yourself for your failings, which I think is a positive step for most of us.