Motivation tool

Sorry I haven't been blogging lately.   distracted I guess.   Anyway, this video showing what happens to your blood cells after eating fatty foods is pretty amazing.  It makes even a rare cheat meal unappealing.  The effects last for several hours at least.  yikes!

Is it Day 40?

Only 2 more days of the challenge?!   Let's see, we started on a Thursday, so it will end on Wednesday!  Well, you can start sending me your progress report whenever you are ready.   Send it to me at bwhitney@chi-squared.org.  Let me know if it's okay to post it.  I think people will enjoy hearing how others did.  It's especially helpful to learn how you solve your problems, and how you learn from your mistakes.

I started my challenge a week early so I suppose I could say I finished it on Friday.  I suppose that's a good thing because I unexpectedly stumbled on Saturday, with my desire to eat my guests' food.  For 6 weeks, I behaved quite well except for a couple of days on my vacation when I overate nuts and fruit, and then on last Thursday when I did the same.  But on Saturday, I wanted to eat everything they ate, just because they were eating it, even though I didn't like the taste.  Can someone explain that one to me?  I stumbled last summer with visitors too.  I have visitors again today but I'm okay.  I'll have to be more cautious next time.

Besides being busy with the visitors, on Sunday I did food prep, biking in the outstanding weather, and harvesting the garden.  I made a nice soup from garden produce and beans, which I'll have all this week along with my salads.  I harvested a bunch of greens and brussels sprouts from the garden and froze them.  It was a fun day.  And it was very fun with the visitors.  Then today was back to work and exercise and more visitors tonight.  whew.  So I'd better get back to them.  

Should we do a new challenge?  I'm thinking monthly challenges might be easier chunks to handle--for one thing easier to count the days, and a month might seem more doable for accomplishing a goal.

The 100% club

We often discuss on the Fuhrman forums whether it's better for us to go 90% or 100% nutritarian.  Dr. Fuhrman's life plan allows for 10% excursions once you attain health and appropriate weight.   I don't think he intends for that 10% to be the worst foods like cheese and ice cream, but even those are allowed rarely.   I really think this is an individual choice.  For some people, making foods forbidden makes them more desirable, and increases the cravings.  For others, eating just a little bit opens the floodgates.  It probably depends a lot on how you look at it.   For me, both those feelings can occur.   Overall though, for me, it seems 100% is much easier than 90%.  There is much less deciding involved, and studies have shown that having too much choice and making too many decisions is exhausting and weakens your willpower.  Now 90% might make life easier for other people I interact with and might make me more sociable and less of a standout.  But I don't think I can handle it.  It is easier for me to go 100%.  Plus, I've found people don't care as much as you think when you do funny things like not eat, or top a plate of lettuce with your own fixings, or bring your own food.  Also, if I'm 100% most of the time, on a daily basis, then if something really unusual comes up, it's no big deal if I decide to partake.  I just have to remember that these unusual events need to be limited to only a few times a year (and that remembering is kind of a hassle so again, it's easier to just stay on plan and have fewer decisions and fewer things to remember!).  Like I said, this is a very individual choice.  My main point is that even though it might seem counterintuitive, 100% is easier for me than 90% and I'm kind of surprised by that as much as anyone else.  Emily discusses something like this in her latest Diseaseproof post.

My deal with the Devil

I made a deal with the devil (devil-barbie) on Mar. 13.  We agreed that if I could eat perfectly for 12 weeks, I could have a day of eating SAD (Standard American Diet) food---well, in my case, that's vegan SAD food since I'm a vegan for other reasons than health.  By eating perfectly that means following Dr. Fuhrman's 6-week plan without overeating.  I outlined my program in this post.  I just realized I didn't quite make 12 weeks.  Wo, devil-barbie is clever--she miscalculated and told me 12 weeks was last weekend.  Okay, so I made it 11.5 weeks.  I'll double-check my calculations next time.  Also,  my SAD day turned into 2.  Then I had a hangover day yesterday, and today I feel great again and ever so happy to be back.  As usual, I don't think the lack of sleep and feeling yucky was worth it.  I'm amazed at how high I get from eating a white-flour tortilla (that was from a vegan burrito).  It really is true that processed grains have the same effect as sugar.  I also get high from decaff coffee and chocolate, not that I need to remind myself of that!   One of my treats was an oil-free granola and soy milk.  That's not even that bad, except for a relatively small amount of maple syrup, so I'm glad for that.  I could definitely make a healthy version of that with dates instead of maple syrup.

Will I do this again?  Well, I was chatting again with devil-barbie and we decided I should try to last until December 31, and have a SAD day then, and then join everyone else on Jan. 1 on having a hangover and starting over.  

I don't recommend this because you and I both could never return from SAD-land once we venture out, just like an alcoholic on a binge.  But it does make it easy for me to say no now and I hope for the next 6 months, knowing that it's not forever.  I find it much easier to say no to all SAD food than to figure out how much I can eat and still be healthy.  Plus it's much easier to train everyone else if the answer is always no.  But I guess I also like thinking that it's not forever.  I'm hoping this planned slip will go the way alcohol and caffeine did for me, just less desirable and less frequent over time until it just was no more.  Or maybe I'll just plan healthier and healthier slip-ups until they just become healthy treat days.  That's my hope!

Anyway, like I said, I am not presenting this as a behavior for you to emulate.  I'm just sharing that I'm not perfect.  I want to be honest about my successes and failures.  And if you want to give me advice for a better way, I welcome it!   I'm like you, just trying to eat healthy in an unhealthy world.

Update a week later:   I've had this feeling the last week that this deal with the devil idea is a really bad idea.  First there's the obvious reason that each time you eat SAD food, you may never return from it.  Talk about a slippery slope.   And second, it's just not good nutritarian behavior.  I think we should not give SAD food to ourselves as a reward.  I'm not saying I won't ever slip up in the future, but it should be my aim to not slip up.  I shouldn't plan to slip up.   I've also realized that you have to say no a lot, even in the nutritarian universe.  You have to say no when you've eaten enough, you have to say no to too many dates and nuts and fruit and beans, and even carrots.  You can eat too much of anything.   Once you have been off SAD food for several weeks, I'm not sure it's any harder to say no to that than to say no to too many pieces of corn on the cob, or cherries, or strawberries.    My SAD deviations the last few times started out as nutritarian deviations--too much of a good thing.  

Confession time

I feel I should 'fess up when I go offplan. It may not be as inspiring as if I stay on plan all the time, where you can think, if she can do it, so can I. Instead, now you think, she failed, so will I. But I want to be honest and share my mistakes--maybe there is something to learn from them without repeating them yourself. So last week, I deviated for a couple of days. The last time I did this was in early December when I was in France. So I guess I made it about 10 weeks; the previous stretch was 10 months, so this is a bit disappointing. Oh well, try try again. What were my reasons? Well, the brain can manufacture good reasons any time, any day, so I don't think that matters. I can tell you that being tired is a big warning flag so watch out for the rationalizations when you are tired--you are much weaker. And it also started out by eating too much rich healthy food, so that's another warning flag. For me, being tired and/or overeating healthy food are both danger zones where vigilance against excuses should be exercised. Your brain is always ready with millions of excuses and they are just that, excuses, so you have to learn to ignore them.

So on Wednesday and Thursday, I had some decaff coffee, some dark chocolate, a vegan burrito', 2 big cookies, 2 small cookies (vegan), some granola and soy milk, some tortilla chips with salt, and some nuts with salt. Well, the salt was very appealing. That is what makes the burrito taste good. But it had a negative affect especially on my healing arm. My arm and hand swell very easily so of course they swelled even more after eating that salt.

I felt quite yucky upon eating this stuff and got even more tired. For the first time in years, I fell asleep during a talk. Fortunately, I got tired of this after two days and started lusting after my healthy foods, and I got back on track on Friday. Both Friday and Saturday, I felt very tired and headachey--I never get headaches when I eat right!. Amazing, isn't it? Today, Sunday, I feel good again. whew. This week I will have a visitor and we will be going to nice vegetarian restaurants, but even there, I can't eat the food. It is so salty and oily. The salt is good going down but too unpleasant afterwards. It is a shame that I can't partake in the restaurant food because I really enjoy communal eating. But that is just the way it is. I will bring my food or eat beforehand and then just order some plain unappetizing salad.

As a good friend of mine says, "Onwards!"

My trip to Besancon France

I got back from France last night. I slept on the train, plane, and bus, and then slept another 9 hours when I got home. So I feel pretty good today.

It was easy being a nutritarian in France. There was a grocery store near my hotel, and numerous fruit stands. The produce listed the country of origin so I looked for stuff from France, which there was plenty of: apples, carrots, lettuce, pears, which were all good. I forget where the persimmons was from but it was the best I've ever had! It was ripe, juicy, and sweet. I tried some dates and figs and they tasted same as we get in the US. Fruit, lettuce, canned beans, and nuts & seeds provided plenty of food.

Then there were the restaurants. I found it difficult to be a nutritarian in a restaurant. I would have preferred not to go to them at all but I enjoyed socializing with my colleagues. So I compromised and went out 2 nights out of 4. The first night I got a salad without half the stuff listed on the menu. Then at the banquet, they made a vegetarian meal for some of us. I decided to go for it and enjoy the French cuisine even if it wasn't nutritarian. In fact, I apologize to the animals, it wasn't vegan either. It was very good and I did enjoy it. Of course, like always happens when I stray, I paid for it overnight. I couldn't sleep all night. The bread and sugar made me hyper, but worse than that, the wine made my heart go crazy. Actually I didn't know what was making my heart go crazy, I thought maybe it was the sugar, but I asked on Dr. Fuhrman's forums, and Dr. Mullin replied and said it was probably the wine. I was very warm all night long and my heart felt funny so I monitored my pulse and it was all over the place. The base was about 70-80 (usually 50!), but it was also irregular. I hate when that happens. It used to happen to me a lot before I became a nutritarian. I drank 3 small glasses of wine spread over 4 hours. I guess that is a lot for someone who never drinks anymore. Here's an explanation from some random doctor on the web:

Firstly the effects of alcohol on human heart rate are not due to direct effects on the heart, but due to the activation of a reflex response. Alcohol is a vasodilator, which means that it makes the peripheral blood vessels relax allowing more blood to flow through the skin and tissues. This is why people who have had a drink look red faced and feel warm. This means that the blood flows round a larger volume of the body, which results in a drop in blood pressure. Therefore, to maintain sufficient blood flow through the organs of the body the heart rate increases to accommodate for the increased volume that it has to send the blood round.

This makes sense because my blood pressure is already low, so dropping it lower suddenly was probably a shock to my system. Sorry, heart! I suppose in retrospect, I shouldn't have had the wine or bread or desserts, and I still would have enjoyed the meal (still not nutritarian but limited in its side effects). But I was curious to know how much I was missing with my eating style. So, let's review the meal. Appetizer: some yucky pickled salad. Of course, they can't compare to my salads, so forget that. Champagne. well, that was the best I've ever tasted by far. But even so, I can happily live without that, now that I know what it does to me. Next course: cream of mushroom soup. really really good. But I could make something just as good with cashew cream. Bread. nothing to write home about. Main course: I barely remember so it must not have been that good--a small portion of veggies, of course that can't compare to what I can do with veggies. oh yeah, some mashed potato thing that tasted sweet. It was good, but I can do better. there was something else but I can't remember what it was. white wine and red wine. it was good, but forget that from now on. There were 4 tiny desserts altogether: some cream whipped so thick it was almost solid, creme de brule, a two soft chocolatey pieces, and a fruity tart thing. The fruity thing was yucky, the chocolatey thing was what you'd expect, chocolatey and good. The creme de brule was fantastic, and the whipped cream was very good. Today I was curious how a healthy dessert compares so I made some healthy strawberry-raspberry-banana ice cream. I actually found it just as satisfying, perhaps even more so because I didn't get the yucky after effects that sugar gives me (hyperactive buzz). I made cashew cream in the process (cashews, water, and date syrup), and it tasted just as good as the whipped cream. Now I don't know how to make anything like creme de brule. That one won. I'm glad I had it this once. I don't feel the need to have it again. If I'm ever in France again, I might be tempted, but not in the US. I've had it in the US before and it wasn't nearly as good.

Since this is a blog about food, of course, that's all I focused on here. But I had a great time, despite the rain, and delayed flights, and missed train stops. The meeting was great, it was fun seeing friends and colleagues, the banquet was very fun, it was fun walking around downtown, shopping, buying a new suitcase after mine was destroyed on the trip out, buying gifts at the Christmas market.

I'm not sure what to title this--a diversion of sorts

I’ve been reading a book about Nonviolent Communication for reasons that have nothing to do with my health. On the plane ride home from my last trip, I was reading Chapter 9, “Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves." A big part of compassionate communication and conflict resolution is learning to empathize with the other party. The author says it’s a lot harder to empathize with others if you don’t empathize with yourself. “When we are internally violent toward ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate toward others.” I thought, yeah, that’s reasonable. The first section after the introduction was titled “Evaulating Ourselves When we’ve been less than perfect.” Well, that was timely, given my recent dietary indiscretions. So I practiced his suggestions on this topic, and it was very interesting (to me).

Here was the first thing that struck me. He says, “In our language there is a word with enormous power to create shame and guilt.” It is the word “should”. Here is a concept I never thought of: “Think for a moment of all the people you’ve heard say, ‘I really should give up smoking’, or ‘I really have to exercise more.’ They keep saying what they ‘must’ do and they keep resisting doing it, because human beings were not meant to be slaves. We were not meant to succumb to the dictates of should and have to, whether they come from outside or inside ourselves. And if we do yield and submit to these demands, our actions arise from an energy that is devoid of life-giving joy.” Wo, really? That’s interesting! “Our challenge then, when we are doing something that is not enriching life, is to evaluate ourselves moment by moment in a way that inspires change both (1) in the direction of where we would like to go, and (2) out of respect and compassion for ourselves, rather than out of self-hatred, guilt or shame.” Okay, so time to evaluate myself.

“…if we find ourselves reacting reproachfully to something we did, we can quickly stop and ask ourselves, ‘what unmet need of mine is being expressed through this moralistic judgment?’” Okay, I read through this section a few times, and it took me a while to figure this out. I had to come back to it after finishing the rest of the exercise and I finally came up with something. I am not really judgmental about anything I did this week except when I overate the dates. Overeating is what makes me feel shame, because it shows a lack of control, and gluttony. I feel flawed when I do that. The question is, “what unmet need of mine is being expressed through this moralistic judgment?” So we’re talking about my judgment of myself. I finally concluded that it is that I have conditional love for myself rather than unconditional. I love myself as long as I behave. Not so much otherwise. So that was interesting. For the other things I did this week, going off plan, I feel some regret but I don’t feel shame or guilt. I know I messed up but I don’t blame myself too much. Hey, I’m human, and unhealthy food is addictive and ubiquitous. Moving on to the next step, that’s where we discuss this further.

On to forgiveness: “When I behaved in the way I which I now regret, what need of mine was I trying to meet?” I wanted to be in community with others while eating (and I did have several nice conversations with other patrons). I wanted to enjoy what they were enjoying. I wanted to experience an opportunity to eat in a couple of restaurants like we don’t have at home—vegan and raw, so a feeling of not wanting to pass up this opportunity. I wanted to see the effect it would have on my body (curiosity) and confirm that I prefer my own way of eating. I wanted to be “normal” for a few meals. I thought “what harm will this do? It’s part of the life plan.” Now, what need was I trying to meet when I ate too many dates? An addictive need I guess. I felt pleasure eating them and wanted to continue feeling pleasure. And excitement. The sugar hit to the brain. This is an innate drive to seek pleasure. What need was I trying to meet when I went to the restaurant a second time? A desire to get as much in as possible before the door is shut again on me and this becomes forbidden. My choices were “an attempt to serve life” (to feel good momentarily) even though it felt short of my true needs.

So what is the solution? I prefer long-term happiness to short-term pleasure; that is, I prefer my longer term needs for health and wellness and happiness to be satisfied, rather than my short-term pleasure goals. And I really like the concept of not being a slave to the word “should”. I gave up caffeine, alcohol, and salt as a choice, when I was ready. I knew it was a recommendation of Dr. Fuhrman to avoid them, but I thought I could still be healthy and partake in all of these things at a low level. Over time, though, I preferred not to ingest them anymore because I didn’t like how they felt in my body. I think I have to recognize that my desire to eat healthy is a choice. I prefer to have the freedom of choice, rather than the requirements of “should”. This would remove this problem of forbidden foods becoming more desirable. So I am eating healthy because I want to. There are no forbidden foods, even when I pretend there are. I can say, I won’t eat another cookie, and then I can get into my car, drive to the co-op, and buy and eat a vegan cookie. So it really is a choice, and naming something forbidden does make me resist. So, there are no forbidden foods, and I will make a choice at every meal about what I want to eat.

I’ll see how this works and get back to you.

My latest trip

Yea, I’m back from my trip. Yea yea yea! I’ve been gone since Jan. 3. That was too long. First I was in DC for a week. I posted about that already. Then I was in Berkeley, CA for the rest of the time. Well, veganbarbie indulged herself in this vegan mecca. On the healthy side, I asked for a fridge in my hotel room; no problem, got it in 10 minutes. There were 3 great grocery stores within a couple of miles of my hotel. I discovered the best one last, but they were all great. I got wonderful fresh California produce. Yum! I ate well. Usually a salad with lettuce greens, kale or bok choy, raw veggies (zucchini, beets, broccoli, asparagus, tomatoes, bell pepper, not all at once!), frozen berries (cherries yum! Strawberries, blueberries), edamame, and my seed mixture (sunflower, hemp, and ground flax). It was luscious. I usually had fruit for brekky, and then this salad for lunch and dinner. I got many remarks about the salad, and after a while, people started saying “that looks good.” Here's a picture:

Going from mostly healthy to least, here were my other food adventures:

I met up with a couple of "nutritarians" (from the Fuhrman member forums) for dinner at one of their homes. That was a blast! We cooked up chili, kale with orange sesame sauce, and an apple crisp for dessert (already made by the host—yum!). And Anne gave me some fresh dates (dried, but fresh compared to what I get in Wisconsin), which I ate a little too many of during the rest of the week, oops.

I also went to a raw vegan restaurant (Cafe Gratitude) a couple of times. The entrees were healthy. The first time I had a tamale with butternut squash as its filling (not raw), and black beans and cole slaw on the side. The second time I had a very yummy salad and nutty-mushroom soup. About the only thing wrong with these is they had some salt. I indulged in the desserts too. I won’t say what they were because I think I should only talk about healthy foods on this blog to spare readers of developing cravings for slightly unhealthy food. These were raw vegan desserts, made with nuts and dates, but they also probably had quite a bit of agave nectar in them. They were good, and didn’t make me feel crappy the next day, maybe because there were no refined grains?

I also went to a banquet at a fancy Chinese restaurant. I thought maybe I would go off-plan for the rare opportunity to indulge in some delicious dumplings, but it was a meat and seafood restaurant. Vegetarian food wasn’t their specialty. I ate some uninteresting tofu. I was there for 3 hours watching everyone else eat, so I also ate some salty yet bland noodles that were on the table with all the meat and seafood. I was disappointed that I went off-plan and didn’t even enjoy it. I think this led me down the slippery slope of thinking if I’m going to go off plan, I should go to the Herbivore Restaurant, a vegan restaurant a few blocks from my hotel.

So finally, I did go to this Herbivore restaurant on the last 2 days of the trip, thinking, this is my chance to eat at an all-vegan restaurant, and it was fun to have this menu full of vegan entrees and desserts. Dare I confess I went there twice? Yes, I did. I had dinner and dessert both times. Sorry to confess this to all the people who think I’m a great example! After going there once, I wanted to go again and try another entrée out. It’s a slippery slope!

The scientist in me monitored my reactions to the food. I was fine until I went to the vegan restaurant at the end of the trip and ate the refined grains, chocolate, sugar, oil and salt. After those meals, I was hyper-active and couldn’t sleep. And I got puffy from the salt. I still feel nauseas 2 days later. That feeling is reminiscent of my SAD (Standard American Diet) days. I think I was always slightly nauseaus when I ate that way all the time. (was it the refined grains? I don't know for sure). That’s probably why I didn’t use to overeat even though I was overweight from the unhealthy food. Another thing I noticed is that the SAD food does not convert to much poop. All that stuff probably just gets converted to fat. Not much comes out. I thought that was kind of humorous. Fortunately I wasn’t on the diet long enough to get constipated.

So I wasn’t perfect on this trip. Let’s see, Dr. Fuhrman says you can let 10% of your calories be unhealthy. I calculated I’ll have to eat healthy for about a month to make up for this. I’d just as soon eat healthy for six months! I am done with wanting a splurge, I hope for a long time. I am so happy to be eating my fruits and veggies today. This healthy stuff has become my comfort food, thank goodness.

I have a lot of trips planned this year, so I guess I just have to do a lot of grocery shopping while traveling. Right now, that sounds just fine!

holiday eating

I had an enjoyable holiday season. However, I did go off the healthy eating plan on 3 occasions over the course of 2 days, at a party and at two restaurant meals. I rationalized it as follows: I’m thin and healthy (knock on wood) and Dr. Fuhrman says 90% compliance is enough to maintain health. So I’m well within his parameters. But I have to say, I don’t think it’s worth it! The effect of unhealthy food on a healthy body is too much of a shock. I felt hungover for 3 days after this, and what fun is that? And I didn’t even eat that unhealthy, compared to normal standards. At the party I had small servings of lentil salad, chick pea salad, hummus, tempeh, chocolate pudding (made with tofu), chips & salsa, and a few vegan cookies. I have to admit I enjoyed the salt a lot. But I hardly slept that night from the sugar and chocolate. At one of the restaurant meals I had a tofu scramble burrito, fried potatoes, toast with earth balance (margarine), and a decaff soy latte. At the other restaurant meal, I had hummus & pita bread, a couple of small falafels (deep fried!), and baklava (very sweet! and, yes, good). It all tasted good, but mainly due to the salt—try eating that stuff without salt and it’s bland, I guarantee. Again, I was surprised by my attraction to the salt. But then I paid for it. My hands got uncomfortably swollen, and my nose bled a little. I suspect this is harmful to the body to go from no salt to a ton of salt in one day. And the same goes for a body not used to sugar, caffeine, and chocolate. I’m glad I didn’t try the alcohol.

One thing I noticed is that I am more fun and interesting when I’m on these drugs (sugar, refined grains, caffeine), and I have more fun at the parties. When I went back to healthy eating and went to another party, and I found it dull and I was probably dull too. When you think about it, everyone else is on drugs from the sugar, refined grains, caffeine, chocolate, and alcohol (all at the same time!). So they are all hyped up and I’m not. I come across as boring and tired, and I have to admit, it is kind of boring to stand around and watch everyone else eat and drink.

After going back on plan, I wasn’t very hungry for 2 days, and mainly ate veggies and fruit. I’ve been eating cabbage & apple (no onion or raisins) for brekky. I had my favorite simple salad a couple of times: lettuce and sweat pea dressing. When I ate that I thought it was as good as anything I had on the “splurge”. So why bother?? I was sort of back to normal on day 3. That was today, Christmas Day. I was planning to visit relatives but the weather prevented it, so a friend and I did some volunteering at a local church and Christmas dinner. That was lots of fun. Afterwards I gave my friend the option to go over to another friend’s house for a traditional dinner, or to eat the last of the veggies in my refrigerator. He chose the veggies. I made my usual veggies & beans & seeds dish (had some beans in the freezer), with broccoli, carrots, potato, corn, cabbage, and hemp/sunflower seeds. My friend loved it. That’s such an easy recipe and it’s a hit with SAD (Standard American Diet) eaters. I think the reason is due to the carrot juice in the beans. It gives it a little sweet flavor. The ground seeds are also key because they thicken the cooking water up a bit and make it into a sauce with some fat in it. I made a mango-mandarine-coconut sorbet, which was good (1 cup frozen mangos, 2 small mandarine oranges, 1 Tbsp shaved coconut).

Tomorrow I will have to go grocery shopping, though it would be fun to see how far I can go with what I have in the fridge. It’s now mostly carrots and some cabbage and oranges, and one cup of beans. Hmmm. Well, that combo would probably taste good too!

last few days

I had to go to out of town for a funeral this week. I brought my food with me, some servings of beans & veggies, some lettuce and fruit (mandarine oranges and apples). I wasn't that hungry because of the sadness of the event. For some people, this kind of stress makes them eat more; it makes me eat less, but as you'll see, it's the happy events that make me crack. After I got home, I have been going to parties nonstop, full of sweet treats. I finally cracked today and had several vegan chocolate chip cookies. Then I decided, let's make a day of it, so I got a couple of non-Fuhrman foods at the deli at my co-op, some red curry tofu and a quinoa salad, and a falafel. It was small servings and not too far off the plan, except for the oil and salt. As usual, I didn't think it was as good as my food and realized again that I'm not missing anything. I satisfied my urge to splurge so I think I can resume healthy eating tomorrow. I think the last time I went off plan was in September so that's not so bad (though I have over-eaten on plan several times). But I would like to kick the sugar habit completely. It just feels too much like an addiction, because it is. I never thought sugar would be harder than coffee or alcohol to give up. Pretty interesting.

yesterday's splurge

Well, I did get sick from yesterday's splurge. ugh. I really thought I wasn't overdoing it. I had 4 treats, which is a lot, but I didn't eat a lot of other food. Well, it was awful, and I hope I never touch that stuff again. Today's church service was pretty relevant to this. The title was "Positive Thinking. How to be the person your dog thinks you are." I love that title. Here are two useful points I remember: There are no mistakes, only lessons. and A lesson is repeated until it is learned. I do not want to repeat this lesson. Also when I was in the midst of my sickness, I was thinking, I've poisoned my body. I don't want to do this to my body anymore. Yesterday I said I didn't really regret my splurge. But that was before I got sick. Okay, onwards. I am so grateful to have found this healthy way of eating, and I hope I have finally gotten beyond the social influences even if they are ubiquitous. Our service ended with a quote from Muhammad Ali: "I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world." I love that quote too. It was a very fun day. and I'm moving on...

aug. 29

Well, I finally gave into my baked goods cravings. I'm not sure that I regret it because of the lessons learned. It wasn't so good and I don't feel so good either. I'm bound to learn my lesson sometime, if not this time. The last time I strayed from healthy foods was May 10, I think. So that's pretty good, 3.5 months. Hopefully I'll last longer next time. So I wanted a taste of the 4 things I usually give in to: a semi-healthy muffin and cookie (whole grains), a totally unhealthy chocolate cupcake and chocolate chip cookie. Here's my analysis:

healthy cookie: bland, stale

muffin: bland, but fresh

cupcake, cake part, bla, frosting, sickeningly sweet

chocolate chip cookie, overly greasy and kind of gross, and too sweet.

Here was a valuable lesson learned: I thought the desserts we had at the Health Getaway were better than these! So maybe next time I want to splurge, I should just plan to make a Fuhrman dessert to take to a potluck and have some for my own treat. Also, plain old fruit is better too.

Effect on my body: the sugar went straight to my brain. I was hyper most of the day after that. I see why kids get hyperactive. I still feel kind of yucky.

Anyway, besides that I ate 2 corns on the cob and sliced tomato at lunch. And I did a lot of cooking this evening. I snacked a bit while cooking, and sampled the final results, but didn't eat too much. I'm a little worried I'm going to get sick. I'm feeling bloated and gassy. My stomach is gurgling a lot. I haven't had any oil since the last time I splurged (May 10 I guess) so my stomach is probably going, what the heck is this stuff?

may 10

I strayed today...wah

brekky: smoothie

lunch: well, I was working all morning on our remodeling project at church. I didn't bring a lunch. It was 1 pm. I was tired and hungry. The woman who brought lunch for us is a really good cook. She made home-made pizza which I didn't eat because it had cheese on it and I'm vegan. No problem. Then she brought in a baked vegan sandwich. I forget what it's called --bread (white pizza dough) with tomato sauce and peppers and mushrooms baked inside. well, I couldn't resist. And I was touched by her generosity. It was good. But it went straight to my brain like sugar and made me hyper. After I left I wanted more so went to this place that makes really good vegan baked goods and got a chocolate chip cookie and a cupcake. I only ate half the cupcake, but the frosting was good--light and sweet. Then I buzzed for a few hours. I did a bunch more manual labor at home, hauling dirt around. Then I had a normal dinner, baked sweet potato and a bunch of fresh spinach from the garden and a carrot and orange. Now I have a tummy ache and I'm really thirsty. really thirsty. I drank 3 glasses of water and I'm still thirsty. There must have been a lot of salt in something I ate. When am I ever going to learn? Okay, if I were a SAD eater (Standard American Diet), this wouldn't be so bad. But it makes me feel like crap to eat this stuff now. I wish I would stop. Oh, here is an interesting article that relates to this. If you scroll to the top of the page to the "toolbox", you can print it out. It's about a book, "The End of Overeating," by David Kessler, former commissioner of the FDA. He talks about how addictive salt, fat and sugar are and how restaurants use that to their advantage by serving food loaded with these things.