Tuesday, October 28, 2008
oct 28 ramble
I have been feeling self-conscious because I told my cooking class about the blog and I'm embarrassed that someone might actually look at it. Compared to normal people, I eat really weird. This makes me think I'm weird and I tend to look down on myself at these times without asking why. I was thinking, will people think I have an eating disorder? Do I? I happened to make one of my self-deprecating remarks out-loud in a conversation and it was then that I realized how self-critical I am. I should be proud of myself, or at least happy with myself for becoming healthy through nutrition. I'm reluctant to be proud of myself because I can't stand it when people feel superior about anything. It is my biggest pet peeve (actually I have another biggest pet peeve which is women who pee on toilet seats! these are such different pet peeves that it's hard to compare them. but this is off-topic). Anyway, so I can't be proud of myself, but I should be happy with myself. Maybe I should be proud of myself in a non-superior way. I think I'm proud of myself in a non-superior way for being vegan. I'm still trying to figure out why it's easy for me to be vegan but more of a struggle to be a healthy eater in social situations. I don't care what others think about my veganism. I feel strongly about it and no one can make me eat animals. With the healthy stuff I'm much more worried about not offending or rocking the boat. oh well, I gotta get back to work.