Sorry, this sounds awful but I'm kind of having fun with the prison idea. Hey, it's February in Wisconsin, we tend to get a little dark this time of year. Today I released myself from prison and had my two favorite cookies from the co-op: cowgirl and pumpkin (both vegan). They were good but kind of strange too. The cowgirl cookie was kind of dry but I enjoyed the chewiness. The chocolate chips actually tasted kind of yucky but I enjoyed whatever drugs are in the chocolate--I think that's the real appeal of chocolate. Unfortunately, it interferes with my sleep. The pumpkin cookie tasted good because it was sweet. But it left a funny chemical taste in my mouth. Maybe that's the sugar. and my mouth was a little slippery--the oil I presume. My PB and J on manna bread from a few days ago actually compared quite well to these cookies. It had that satisfying chewy quality as well, and I think I prefer the less sweet. I don't even mind that lack of salt (compared to the cookies).
So overall, eh, it was okay, I can't say I want anymore cookies right now, thankfully. I'm ready to go back into prison. I know if I kept going I'd get addicted because that's what sugar and chocolate do to you. So I'm ready for some walls to protect me. sorry, like I said I'm having fun with this. It kind of fits the situation: You try to stay in prison as long as possible. Well, how easy it that? Probably not so easy. That reflects reality pretty well for a lot of people I think. When you leave prison it's probably both a happy and sad event. When you go back in, maybe it's happy, maybe sad, maybe both. At least maybe you don't have so much negative judgment against yourself---what's to judge about leaving prison? It turns the shame on its head.
Update the next morning: Last night I stepped out of prison again to sample a few more things: Let's see, a small piece of white bread (from a "demi-baguette") with a dab of jam, a small bowl of spaghetti noodles with tomato sauce, a few lightly salted peanuts, 2 pieces of chocolate, and a few lightly salted chips. Really, not a binge of any sort, just some taste tests (it was okay, nothing to write home about). But boy do I feel different today. wow, what a reminder. truly fascinating. the chocolate interfered with my sleep. I definitely look forward to returning to prison today, and feeling normal again tomorrow. Interesting too how I conveniently forgot about the consequences even though I've experienced this plenty of times to remember. That's the power of addiction. I hate to be stark but that's what it feels like to me. Well, I have too many things to do to think about it anymore. Have a great day everyone. I plan to despite my brain fog!